I am writing about my partner, who is experiencing sleeping disorders.
Every morning he will wake up automatically at 2.30-3.00am and won’t be able to go back to sleep for at least an hour.
He blames this on me (I snore – alas! too loud) so I have been forced to get up every morning and move over to the armchair to give him the chance to go back to sleep.
I also give him a ‘head start’ every night between 10.30 and midnight but on several occasions I have noticed that while he is sleeping nicely, he wakes up suddenly and looks rather aloof.
Then he goes back to sleep for a little while more and this repeats until I join him in bed (praying that I don’t fall asleep before him!).
We bought some foam earplugs but they don’t do much for him. I got him some wax ones, but he has declined to use them.
I am willing to accept that I could be causing his bouts of insomnia, but I cannot accept that I am the only reason.
I’ve slept with other people and didn’t keep them awake with my snoring.
I suspect that he is under a lot of stress and I am sure that drinking (half a bottle of wine with dinner and a couple of gin and tonics before dinner and/or a pint of beer) and eating spicy food has got something to do with his sleeping problems.
Luckily he is not overweight and he does not smoke.
What is interesting is that even before we moved in together, he used to feel sleepy at different times of the day and in fact took quick naps in the car – ‘just 10 minutes and I will feel refreshed’ as he put it.
He used to have these sleep breaks while working as a cab driver some years ago.
Could his system be still used to this uneven sleeping pattern? Or could he be going through male menopause (he’s nearly 49 years old).
I wish he’d go see a doctor about his problem – it’s affecting the quality of our lives and is turning me into a nervous wreck – but he won’t!
I guess it is easier for him to believe that it is my fault and not an endogenous cause.
I do so hope you will be able to offer me some advice about this problem – is it possible to get an appointment via our GP for some counselling?
It is a really silly reason to break up a relationship when all else is working so fine!
Please don’t let this problem spoil what sounds to be a blossoming relationship.
Without being able to physically examine your boyfriend, I am unable to be specific about what exactly is the matter with him.
Your GP should certainly be able to refer either one of you or both for counselling, but your boyfriend will need to acknowledge that there is a problem for this to happen.
It may well be an occupational abnormal sleep pattern and your snoring may well have nothing to do with his problem, particularly as he is waking at the same time every night.
It may be politic for you to see your own GP, if it is a different person to your boyfriend’s, to exclude nasal polyps or another reason for your snoring.
That way, you can show willing to sort this problem out and your boyfriend may then be more prepared to seek help.
A change in lifestyle to include some regular exercise and less alcohol may do wonders for both of you.
I do hope that you manage to come to a satisfactory solution to this current difficulty.
The NetDoctor Medical Team
The Solution is the Zenguard